Another Gamble With Personal Safety

As we’ve already established, I’m clumsy. I’m clumsy, and I have a particularly hazardous ceiling fan in my room.

But there’s more.

A couple of fellas are currently painting the house that I live in, so there are ladders all over the place. One of them is leaned up against the house between the back porch and the outdoor shower, making it necessary to walk under the ladder (bad luck! bad luck!) in order to get to the shower. To top it off, there’s a black cat lurking around, too. Kind of antisocial fella, though, which I guess is good for me.

Here’s the thing. I’m perfectly capable of injuring myself in the shower without the assistance of hoodoo voodoo superstition. For example, yesterday I woke up sober, in possession of all of my wits and faculties (not a terribly impressive batch of smarts, I must admit), and full of energy—and still managed to take a chunk out of my leg with a pink swivel-headed razor with a moisturizing strip. Of course the thing has three blades, so it looks a little bit like I got hit with a Barbie-sized tazer.

So when all the hoodoo finally catches up with me, which it undoubtedly will as I’ve walked under that damn ladder at least fifteen times this week, it’s probably going to be epic. We’re talking stark naked ambulance ride, folks.

I’ll keep you posted.


~ by saltgirlspeaks on 8 August, 2008.

One Response to “Another Gamble With Personal Safety”

  1. Have you considered purchasing an armor plated suit? You could probably get a good deal on e-bay, or at the next renaissance festival. Ladders, black cats–don’t help anyone move a mirror; one little slip and your fate could really be sealed.

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