Top 10 Reasons I Will Not Want To Leave Vieques:
1. The scenery is beautiful, both human and nature.
2. The coldest it’s gotten since I arrived was about seventy degrees.
3. When it rains, it only rains for five or ten minutes, and then the sun’s out again.
4. “Downtown” Esperanza consists of a smattering of bars and food stands, a couple of touristy junk booths, a museum, a dive shop and a gift shop, with a beach running the length of it.
5. If you need to get anywhere, all you need to do is stand on the side of the road and someone will offer you a ride within ten minutes.
6. Every other person I meet is from Martha’s Vineyard.
7. There is no open container law, and you can take your drink from bar to bar, or buy a beer in a store and walk down the road drinking it—you can even drink in cars.
8. Medalla—the Puerto Rican Budweiser. A dollar in the store, two in the bar.
9. Wild horses are everywhere.
10. There’s no snow, ever. And I don’t have to go to work, ever.
Top 10 Reasons I Will Be Delighted To Go Home:
1. This morning, I found a stream of water flowing into my room, and it was coming from the bathroom (thankfully it was water from the toilet tank and not the bowl).
2. Chickens. Fowl of both genders, bellowing and screaming outside my window every morning. The roosters start at midnight and may not ever stop, and the hens when they’re laying sound like a bunch of teenage girls getting stabbed.
3. Blaring advertising vehicles—there are at least three. One advertises a club and I don’t know what the other two are stumping, but they drive around in circles on the island at all hours, blaring music and advertisements from giant speakers mounted on top of the vehicles. They’re possibly the most obnoxious thing I’ve ever encountered.
4. Coffee here comes in teeny tiny cups and isn’t very good.
5. The water in our shower is cold—when we have water pressure enough for a shower.
6. I haven’t been cat called so frequently since I lived in Salinas.
7. The other day Netty found a furry spider with a three inch wingspan in her room and let it go outside. I’d have killed it instantly. I keep waiting for its cousin to turn up in my room.
8. There are termites behind the toilet in our bathroom.
9. Netty has mysterious bites on her ankles, possibly from bed bugs. I know my bed at home doesn’t have bugs. And I have a hot shower at home…. Did I mention how bad our shower sucks?
10. Every other person I meet is from Martha’s Vineyard.