Sitting in the hammock, listening to music with the dog and getting nostalgic because of conversations earlier in the night. There are a handful of you–a big handful, I’m lucky– who have been with me most or all of my life, through the best and hardest of times. Thank you, all of you (many of whom will never read this blog) for helping make me the person I am today. I wouldn’t have known what to do without you.
You don’t get to choose who you love. You don’t get to choose whether or not they will love you back. But you do get to choose how long and how badly you’ll let it affect you if they don’t.
They say the one who loves less in a relationship is the one who has the power. This is only true if the one who loves more doesn’t recognize their own self worth and that they deserve better and walk away when that lack of love starts to show.
In an ideal relationship, people just love. Not more, not less, just love. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships, either.
Love should never be about power.
The most important thing I learned in college (aside from my social security number) was networking. If you know enough of the right people, you can make anything happen, and usually on the cheap. Be bold, be nice, be generous, and you never know when a total stranger may give you the chance of a lifetime.
Sometimes a change in attitude is really all that’s necessary to change your shitty life (or rather, what you perceive as your shitty life).
Take, for example, today.
Yesterday, I was a ridiculous mess. I’m gonna blame mercury, because there ain’t no logical way to explain it, but when my niece came home at 9:00, she found me in a ball on the couch, crying. Yes, I’d been drinking. But wow, was I upset over nothing. That sadness (but not the tears) stayed with me until I went to sleep…
…but it was mostly gone by the time I woke up (at 7 a.m.!!) this morning.
My niece took the day off from work because she wasn’t feeling well, and she needed to get some errands done. When she told me her errands included the bookstore and the library, I asked if I could join her.
I ended up coming home with two brand new books, four free paperbacks, 9 videos borrowed from the library, and 7 new $1 CDs I’ve never heard, from Aboveground records. That’s plenty of distraction to tear me away from my other distractions, which have been bothersome lately.
Getting lost in a fluff book, or a movie with no cinematic merit whatsoever? Listening to music (that may or may not suck) for the first time? Way healthier than dwelling on real or imagined hurts that you have absolutely no power to change.
(patting self on back)
So yeah, today was a good day.